I love stationery. I buy stationery that I don’t need, that I may never use, just because I love it and I want it. I struggle to find places to store all the stationery I have, and I shop for more. I have four different pen organizers on my desk at home, and they’re full.

Why Stationery?

I remember when I first fell in love with stationery. I was in my mid-teens, and I was in a store in Singapore, and I found the most adorable note cards. I bought them, because they were cute and funny and weird, and I took them home. Now, almost thirty years later, I still have one of those cards, stashed away in my stationery hoard. The rest are gone, I have sent them to people or given them away with gifts. But I still have this one treasure from my first dalliance with stationery.

New stationery transports me to a place where everything is fresh and clean and new and everything works. Nothing is a struggle; nothing needs to be tidied or repaired. I guess you could get this feeling from any new thing, but I don’t. There’s something about running your hand over brand new paper, about hearing the click of popping the cap off a new pen for the very first time.

I’m sure it has to do with writing, too. I’m a writer and an author, and we write all the damn time. I have in my youth written out entire chapters of novels on yellow legal pads with Bic ballpoint pens. I have put down notes on bar napkins.

The Meditative Quality of Hand Writing.

I really love writing things by hand, I take all my notes in lecture by hand, and write in a journal by hand, and there’s a way that the tactile interaction with the words that you’re creating connects you to the work, whatever work that may be.

Because of my arthritis, there are days when it hurts to hold a pen, but I do it anyway.

Having good quality tools to hand write with is important. The right pen can make hand writing things a joy. The right line thickness, the right amount of ink. I write quickly so I want a pen that just glides across the page when I’m in a hurry. For that sort of thing I typically prefer the Pilot G2, and I have this exact pen in several colors for this reason. Writing with the G2 is very nearly a sensual experience.

Since this pen glides across the paper on a pillow of ink, though, it tends to smudge, which makes it difficult to use for lefties.

I own two fountain pens, and they don’t glide in my experience, but there’s a very soft scratching sound as you drag the nib across the paper that gives me a little shiver down the back of my neck.

Inexpensive Pretty Things.

There are times when you want to own a pretty thing or two. Because I’m in grad school, money is often very tight, and the closest I get to owning pretty things is colorful paper and lovely pens. They’re not a huge monetary investment, so you can try new things without a huge risk.

I take comfort in the ability to buy myself small things that bring me a lot of joy, and I wouldn’t be able to do that with clothing or jewelry or any of the more popular retail therapy items. Even books really start to add up, at fifteen to twenty a piece new. But I can get a pack of diary stickers for six dollars or less. It’s an affordable luxury.

Retail therapy, when taken to extremes, can cause huge problems. But this is a way that I can get myself a treat without putting my ability to pay rent at risk.

The Hoard.

The real problem sets in when my stationery becomes too precious to me to use. I end up holding on to it for a special occasion, and as a result I collect piles of note cards, stacks of small stationery sets, boxes of thank you cards, and loads of pens.

I also sometimes order blind boxes of stationery (sort of a grab bag) just to see what I’ll get, and I’ll openly admit that while opening these boxes and seeing and touching the stationery items is gratifying, most of the stuff I get from these orders goes unused.

I stash them away in an attempt to keep my workspace neat. I consult my list of people that I’ve promised letters to, and sometimes, when I make the time, I extract a piece of pretty paper from its plastic sleeve, and I begin to write a letter.

Not often enough though. I love handwriting letters, and these letters often end up taking the form of personal blog posts, explaining or exploring topics with no prompting from the recipient. A description of someone I spoke with on the bus, or my feelings regarding my new haircut. Sometimes I get very self-conscious about it and stop writing.

I should write more letters. I should do it to make people smile, and to gently chew away at my stationery hoard, slowly making space for new stationery.

When I Can’t Buy, I Watch.

The thing that really blows my mind about this is that I’m not alone. There’s a whole stationery culture online, related to the scrapbooking and bullet journal and planner communities. So when I can’t enjoy brand new stationery of my own, I can watch haul videos.

Haul videos are nothing new, but often they feature clothing or makeup or other beauty and fashion essentials. But man, oh man, the stationery haul videos are the best. You get to see new products to buy, and often you get to watch people swatch their pens (a practice through which they write or draw with the pens to observe the color and quality of the ink and test out the writing experience), and even get reviews of the products. I have added many items to wishlists while watching haul videos.

The haul videos featuring Japanese stationery are the best, because east Asia, for a reason that I have not yet determined, has some of the best stationery out there. Here’s one of my favorite haul videos:

Not only is it one of very few stationery haul videos I’ve seen filmed by a young man, but I find him so charismatic and he’s so visibly excited by what he received.

Wishlists.

Not only do I watch haul videos when I can’t buy, but I shop and add new things to various wishlists. I have a wishlist on Amazon specifically dedicated to this, in fact. I also have a wishlist on JetPens and one on Goulet Pens.

You don’t get exactly the same emotional zing that you would get from actually buying, but it’s still satisfying. You get the feeling of having shopped for a product and found something you were really excited about, and sometimes you have the experience of finding something new and interesting. Not only that, but once it’s on a wishlist, you can always come back and buy it later.

We have a natural inclination to collect resources, and securing these items, whether it’s on a wishlist or in the mail on its way to me, and that tickles that urge for me.

Don’t Let Your Kids do Stationery.

Purchasing stationery really is quite habit forming. Unless your child has a penpal or some other such arrangement that will ensure that they use the stationery, I would not advise letting them get sucked into this world. It can be all-consuming.

Are you exhausted by blog posts about bullet journaling yet? How about Instagram posts, or YouTube videos?

Well buckle up, because I got something to say about bullet journals.

Full disclosure, I maintain a bullet journal (I will never use “BuJo” unironically because it sounds like a code for blowjobs to me) and have done so off and on for years now.

If you’ve stumbled upon this post and are wondering what a bullet journal is, it is, in short, a combination planner and journal maintained in a blank notebook. It is fully customizable, and was inspired by a system created by Ryder Carroll, featured in the video below:

Ryder says that his inspiration for creating the bullet journal system was to manage his life as a person with ADHD. As a result, it’s very useful for organizing and planning, replacing dozens of scraps of paper and post-it notes that might otherwise take over one’s desk, purse, pocket, or wallet.

A huge following sprang up surrounding the bullet journal system, and it evolved, taking on a life of its own that far outstripped Ryder’s original system.

Now, I’m not here to tell anyone what’s right or wrong, and even Ryder says there’s no wrong way to bullet journal; that’s the beauty of the system. It can be whatever the user needs it to be. It is infinitely customizable, adjustable, and modifiable. I mean, it’s a blank notebook, right?

The system that Ryder initially envisioned was a series of notes each day that could be migrated; ideas, additions to standing lists, things like that would go to what he called Collections. Tasks and appointments and events would be migrated to the days that they were to be attended or accomplished. So each day was a running list, and each day could be closed out when the items were migrated. Very helpful for ADHD and anxiety sufferers.

If you look up bullet journal or BuJo on Instagram or YouTube today, you will find people creating complicated, intricate spreads with hand lettering and artwork, trackers and systems, that really bear little resemblance to Ryder’s original system.

Initially I became enthralled with this content and put a lot of effort into creating Instagrammable spreads in my journals. I worked hard on it, particularly putting a couple of hours in at the beginning of each month to “set up” the journal. I was excited about this new project.

But after a several months of this, a problem raised its head. I wasn’t using the journal. My intricate spreads were blank, abandoned. This was for a few reasons.

It was too complicated.

The system I had pieced together was too unwieldy for me to whip out the journal and note something down. My “dailies” became nothing more than to do lists, and I tried to flip to the collections pages to make notes because the space pre-allocated for daily entries in my complicated system was not sufficient for little notes, ideas, etc. As a result, I would lose things. The ideas I was sure I would remember until I had a chance to sit down and page through the book flew out of my head before I got to my bus stop.

It was too stressful.

The pressure of creating new, fresh spreads that I could post soon shut me down completely. The worry that I would ruin something I’d spent hours creating kept me from using the spreads I had created. Then, with the trackers, they existed as a reminder of things I had failed to do, a record of my personal shame.

I started looking for answers.

Of course, I started looking within the online bullet journal community. I tried all kinds of keywords, minimalist, simple, etc. Even the “minimalist” bullet journal content was too complicated for what I needed.

Just as a note, the bullet journal community online has become intensely gendered. On the feminine side are intricate, artistic, complicated spreads. On the masculine side are bearded online media bros who celebrate the bullet journal as the ultimate tool for productivity and rationality and structure, all the while sneering at “female” bullet journal spreads. I’ve been trying hard to find content in this space that breaks out of this binary and have been frustrated at basically every turn.

So I went back to Ryder’s original system. I made a couple of tweaks, such as including monthly calendars (they help me know which dates fall on what days of the week for future planning), and I included a habit tracker, not for compliance, but for tracking mental health. And I started using the journal as Ryder originally intended; a list of notes and ideas, rather than as a fancy to do list. I also developed some personal rules for bullet journal maintenance.

My bullet journal rules.

I want to preface this by saying that I’m not telling anyone else what to do. If you find planner peace with complicated spreads, do it. These rules are for me

1. No Rulers.

A lot of people use rulers or straight-edges to set up. Hell, even Ryder does in the video above. But I really need perfection to not be a part of this process at all, so forgoing rulers helps me understand that this is a messy, spur of the moment process, and that perfection is not the goal. This helps with the anxiety I feel about using the journal.

2. No Boxes.

The heart of these complicated systems are boxes. Boxes for your days, boxes for your weeks, boxes for notes, boxes for to do lists. Boxes ended up constraining my use of the journal, editing what was important enough to include and what wasn’t, resulting again in my losing information.

Okay, I still use some boxes, for tracking things that only require a checkmark or something, but for daily pages, no boxes. I don’t care if a day takes up two pages. In fact, I would be pretty delighted if one did, because it probably means I did a lot of brain work that day.

3. Migrate at the End of the Day.

Everything goes on the daily list of notes. Everything. At the end of the day, appointments and tasks get marked off or migrated to collections, etc. That closes out my day. Nothing left un-dealt-with to keep me up at night. Everything has a plan or a place as appropriate. And it prevents me putting off writing something down until I can flip through to the right place, resulting in better capture of information.

4. No White Out.

I’m a creative worker, as a writer, and messiness is important to that process. Failure is a part of creativity, and allowing those mistakes to remain on the page allows me, perhaps counter-intuitively, to accept that. I may scribble them out and write the correction next to them, but no white out, no hiding mistakes. Only acceptance of my flawed self.

The result of following these rules is a messy, minimally decorated (I knew I would need to be able to work in my journal with just what I could carry in my purse), and honest reflection of my life, and looking back through it has made me feel good, helped me remember things, and encouraged me to consume media (books, movies, YouTube videos, articles) that I had noted down and then promptly forgot. I’ve captured more ideas, whether good or bad, than I had before. It has been a success.

And I couldn’t be happier.